Games rule

nifty@lemmy.world to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zone – 97 points –
351

I've been playing Paradox games, so I'm probably going straight to the Hague and deserving it

Just finished CK3 for the night. Is there a love crimes list? Because I'm pretty sure my family tree is the example.

Trafficking humans, putting them in tiny 1x1m cages where they cannot sit, force them to do cheap labour, separate their children at birth, and kill them if they are too expensive...

Fuck I love Minecraft!

I was expecting Rimworld at this point NGL

Me too.

Shit now I wanna play rimeorld

I'm always in that boat, but I really liked my last run and I dont wanna trim mods, so now I have to wait until I have a more powerful computer xD

Rolling up the contents of a town into a big, sticky ball.

Definetly feels like it should be illegal

At that point you’re already destroyed like the entire town or something

Should be charged for large scale property damage or war crimes

4 more...

Placing a billion conveyor belts, strip mining a planet with no regard to the pollution I caused, and full scale genocide against the native bugs who already lived there.

Sorry, biters, I gotta launch my rocket.

I've yet to launch the rocket, but I'm only a thousand hours in :-/

lol it takes time to get the hang of it. I’m 2500 hours in and have the method down finally.

Also make use of blueprints! It makes things easier

Driving a truck without a license and transporting goods incorrectly declared (Euro Truck Simulator 2)

1 more...

Nothing because no one's alive anymore - gtfo Animal abuse and slavery - Palworld

Violation of aviation laws, murder, unlicenced posession of high explosives, and initiation of murderous chicken attacks. (TOTK)

I am getting called a hero! Other than that orbital strike I called down on my entire squad….

Spreading Managed Democracy, whether they want it or not!

Killing Nazis

Good thing I don’t have to worry about that ever happening IRL…

I hope we stop the problem before we actually have to begin killing, education would be a nice start

I won't be arrested at all, as I have been spreading the glory of Managed Democracy across the galaxy.

Disregarding all Osha violations, colonizing a planet and killing all natural life.

damm I love factorio

I'm probably guilty of many OSHA violations myself....

Satisfactory for me, but the same idea.

Rotting in a Shinra prison for bombing a Mako reactor. In my defense, the new explosion graphics were great.

I picked a bad time to close a porn game.

In fairness, they aren’t exactly advertised for their legal scenarios.

Public inebriation, disturbing the peace

(Rock and Stone ⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️⛏️)

RimWorld... I'm not the type for cannibalism or human skin hats, but I do produce and sell a shitload of cocaine.

Oh, and I killed a child colonist, in this run. There was a bug in her age-up event, and the game would not let me proceed until she was... removed. I hate killing children, but since it was the end of the world without doing so, I give myself a pass this time

Forcing thousands of grandmother's into endless work. Destroying ecosystems. Ravaging planets. Ending light itself. Enslaving Gods. And eliminating every parallel world in existence. All to make cookies. More and more. On and on and on. Universes of cookies more numerous than atoms in the cosmos.

But I'm almost done.

just sounds like normal late stage capitalism, you shouldn't really get arrested for that

Bringing democracy to the wider galaxy.

Managed Democracy for everyone!

And in this scenario probably a trip to the Hague for me

Nah. If spreading freedom™️ would get you to the Hague, the US would be bankrupt, by now.

As a european I'm not even touching that topic.

The US doesn't let its war criminals get tried in the Hague that's only for the suckers.

Stealing a hacking device from a construction site and then using that hacking device to steal some money after trespassing onto private property.

World of Tanks, seems legal enough honestly. Maybe destruction of property as I like to knock over trees for fun?

Sonic Adventure

  • property damage
  • animal abduction
  • petty theft
  • fishing without a license
  • treasure hunting without a license.

Being distracted by a live stream while cutting people off, speeding, running red lights and ignoring police roadblocks while driving a lorry from Spain through the UK to France

Uh...is travelling through time and mass exterminating purple lovecraftian monsters with my pet bird a crime? Because if not, I got nothin

2 more...

Graveyard Keeper.

I don't even know. An absurd amount of mishandling and experimenting on corpses.

Defiling corpses, fomenting communist insurrection, burning witches ... That game has everything!

Excessive use of portable mini nukes?

The last game I played was Persona 3, so.... attempted suicide?

Purging heretic with bolters, flamers and chainswords!

freecell is a card game and it's not even the gambling type... wtf do I do now???

1 more...

Strip mining a planet, refining raw materials, building factories, and researching new technology. All to build a rocket to get off said planet.

The factory is growing to meet the demands of a growing factor(io)y

Yeeting a fusion reactor into a space dumpster (Hardspace Ship breaker)

Legend of Zelda, maybe somebody finally had enough of me smashing all their pots and cutting all their grass. I don't think those monsters are calling the cops for all the murder, they always seem to pop right back anyway.

Been playing Dorfromantik so building quaint, idyllic villages with expansive forests and streams.

I think unusable train network is a real crime.

The boats are useless too. But they seem to have invented some kind of self-replenishing energy source because they just keep on going without having to refuel.

1 more...

jumbling up a normal deck of cards with a tarot deck and slowly sorting it out myself while counting

(Balatro)

Not being owned by a corporation, working with a "terrorists".

I'm shocked!

You're not owned by a corporation?

What is that like?

So far everyone seems confused about the idea of not being loyal to a corporation outside of a space station that remains independent.

Traveling with my 7 friends in order to stop the rise of a dark god.

Punching coins into people. Shooting coins. Throwing coins everywhere. Lots of coin based violence.

I'm wanted for 700$ dead or alive for robbery, murder, assault, tresspassing and accidentaly crashing into people with my horse

Opening a gate to"the abyss" because I'm tired of doing menial task.

Probably something among the lines of water runoff and cleaning chemicals in said water (Powerwashing Simulator)

Running a 75 ton Timberwolf Battlemech.

Pretty sure just turning the thing on would be enough to get me arrested. Civilians typically aren't allowed Surface To Surface missiles, and megawatt power lasers that are effective weapons at a range of over 1000m.

I'll have a 100 ton Madcat 2 soon.

War crimes! (Battlefield 1)

Palworld - animal abuse, enslavement of both animals and humans, illegal manufacture and possession of firearms, murder

Heresy. Warhammer 40k Rogue Trader.

Assault, battery, torture, stalking, breaking & entering, trespassing, destruction of property, illegal search & seizure, tampering with evidence, aiding & abetting, reckless driving, speeding, operation of an unlicensed vehicle, unlawful interception, child endangerment, unlawful imprisonment, conspiracy, and, of course, vigilantism

But absolutely zero murder

Necromancy

Not only has Necromancy been banned in the Mages Guild, but the Guild won't deal with anyone who openly uses it.

Throwing bombs from my go-cart at other people on go-carts does sound rather reckless!

Fuck, i Last played Rinworld, so all of the warcrimes

Making my government into an expansionist empire and leading its armies with a bit too much detail.

Various Building code violations, possession of dangerous chemicals, Code violations concerning nuclear reactors, unauthorized mining. Possibly poaching wildlife. Minecraft: All The Mods 9. I'm not very far into it yet, so there's probably a lot of stuff coming on top of that soon.

Nothing as I was legally sanctioned by the council to work above the law for them

Food was very sparce so I had to butcher the last prisoner we had. And we didnt even get much meat, he was missing both legs and an arm from the raid he came with.

Running someone over with a train (Factorio)

Illegally chopping trees, killing animals, accidentally exploding 3 cats, exploiting caves for resources illegally, murder of a person (multiple times), carrying weapons

Um.... Maybe building a house and moving the landscaping without a permit? (Animal crossing)

Hang gliding into a party of monsters and ruining their day with my "1337 aer1al 4rch3ry 5k1llz"

Building colourful skyscrapers next to each other in a tiny city grid, until they combine and fly into the sky. I dunno, reverse 9/11?

Attempting to win at poker with a collection of rocks, glass and, cards I have doodled on.

1 more...

Wiring some logic gates?

::: spoiler Game Turing complete :::

I mean, a pupil got arrested once for building a clock from scratch.

I've been playing payday 2.. the list is far too long to say it all

Building without a permit

Breaking and entering, vandalism (not my fault, ghosts are dicks), and possibly framed for murder (again, ghosts are dicks).

I feel like answering this might put me on a watchlist

It wasn't me! It was an unfortunate manure explosion!

Poluting the environment with my selfbuild automated factorys and thus enrage the local bug population (wich i sadly now have to nuke)

Mass murder by axe. I killed several hundred looters in one day. Everyone thanked me though.

Depending on ones political alignment, either

Alcoholism and drug abuse during work hours

or

Cultural genocide against indigenous people

Forcefully mutating innocent larvae to bee larvae and silkworms and forcing them to work for me indefinitely while I ship off the fruits of their labour and cash in those sweet, sweet Terra Tokens.

Screw those critters, I terraformed this planet, gave them life and I'll most certainly make sure to exploit every single one of them. My only regret is not being able to lick all the neon coloured frogs, that should give a nice trip.

Okay, perhaps I should cut down on my Planet Crafter time..

Shooting myself in the head with a very realistic looking toy gun-- repeatedly (?)

Baby baby baby baby baby baaaby, trumpet starts

Disturbing the peace
Look into my eyes
Now tell me the things
You blabbing about behind my back
The tenacity
I hold it's hard to break down
It's too late for apologies
It's going down now

Is that the Russian roulette game with the creepy AF dealer? Where canonically God has already killed himself at the very same table.

No it's a japanese RPG about kids that get magic powers by shooting themselves with guns that aren't actually guns but hypnotic triggers to awaken their latent psychic powers.

Japan is fun like that.

Unsure what the law has to say about murder when the targets are the denizens of Hell. Or if earth laws even apply in Hell.

Collecting animals against their wills and forcing them to fight each other with guns then collecting their fluids and oils

Bullying masked monkeys killsquads.

Those pearls are mine, motherfuckers.

::: spoiler Title Rain World :::

Doing some dodgy PMC incursions into a chaotic ex-Russian territory feels a bit too close to a real life situation. So I guess I'm getting arrested for looting.

Time travel and monster slaying? Also, staging a coup against the immortal emperor.

Given your username I would have hoped you kicked ass and chewed bubblegum and were all outta gum...

Ig I'm under arrest for the murder of multiple military personnel, destruction of company property, animal abuse, possession of illegal firearms, theft, trespassing, and many many other crimes. (Half-Life 1)

Shedding my flesh for immortal powers over my undead companions

vandalism, killing, stealing, Destruction of the environment, etc (terraria)

Impersonating a cultist with conspiracy to commit mass murder. (Of the cultists)

It's okay though, we're adventurers!

Baldur's Gate 3

Adopting wild dinosaurs/Animal hoarding... Paleo Pines. It's like the rated G version of ARK. I've got 45 super cute dinosaurs, but because this is a game, I'm rich enough to be able to give them wonderful lives!

Last game I've played was egg, inc. It's a mobile idle "numbers go up" game.. There's nothing overtly criminal, so probably tax evasion or something on my trevigintillion bocks.

Demolishing robots with a magnetic guitar-sword in beat with my rock playlist that plays in my heart.🤘

Building a miles-long cobblestone road through mountains and over frozen rivers to a farming village from my house on a snowy plain then entering peoples homes while they sleep and cleaning them out of any food and valuables. Also crop theft.

And maybe pushing that wild pig into my fenced in pasture from the mountainside because I didn't have any carrots to lure him in willingly.

Just wait until they start investigating my village breeder and iron farm.

2 more...

B&E, destruction of property, theft, disturbing the peace, criminal mischief, erecting a structure without a permit, several building code violations, operating a motor vehicle without a license, and animal abuse.

Link is a bastard.

illegal trespassing, genocide, destruction of nature and public property, murder, inflicted torture, and 94 other charges

Inciting gang violence and sending hitmen after private security company employees. (Watch Dogs 2)

A casualty while trying to survive the open road, killed by animals. My soul has left my shell.

Divinity 2, so probably for being God 2 or something

I've been sacrificing villagers in order to summon pharaohs, which I then go on to kill to get mana collectors. I need 200 of said collectors for a token. (Enigmatica 6 Expert)

Sneaking into a hotel room to steal cutting edge military tech with a terrorist conscious locked inside of it from the rebellious son of a CEO who had already stolen it from his own father's company to sell to his fathers competitors..

...also I was wrongfully accused of the resulting patricide when the CEO confronted his son regarding the stolen tech.

Murdering aliens with 6 Guns(Brotato)

Mass murder with the use of explosive devices (and punching people to death (and throwing some of them off cliffs)).

Arson, murder, murder, murder, vigilantism, murder, arson, environmental damage, arson, murder, possible war crimes (Fallout 76 doesn't really have laws I suppose), murder...

Alright, this is probably the largest thread I've seen on lemmy since the snoopoclypse, so y'all enjoy video games eh?

Murder, assault, battery, racketeering, however they charge it when you rig sporting events for cash (might be more racketeering, idk), I'm getting sued for violating several multimillion dollar contracts and probably a couple wrongful deaths, all before halftime (which is when the murders kick into high gear)

Uh let's see, destroying infrastructure with armoured vehicles, being involved in and actively promoting a multi generational world war, genocide, arms dealing, piracy, war crimes.

Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary, the definitions blurred. If I’m to choose between one evil and another, I’d rather not choose at all.

If killing monsters for coin is wrong then I don’t wanna be right.

Smashing blocks into the ground ...

I control a giant dinosaur cyborg that shoots nukes out of its chest.

Carrying a prop gun to shoot myself and summon demons.

I always wondered if they got the idea for that from Scientology auditing procedure R2-45. Which calls for shooting the person being audited in the head with a Colt 45 to exteriorize their thetan.

Warframe Makes the Geneva convention a grocery list.

Team fortress 2 has it's fair share as well.

Disguising as medics, killing medics, killing prisoners of war, non metallic shrapnel, weapons that cause unnecessary suffering (incendiary, bleed) and so much more.