What's an amusing thing to say before going under general anesthesia?

Windows_Error_Noises@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.world – 669 points –

Last time, I used: "Anybody need anything while I'm out?" and that went over well. May not make it through this surgery on Friday, so I turn to Lemmy for top-notch suggestions for my potential last words!

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It's pretty clear to me many people here have never either had general anesthesia or talked to anyone who had, you can't really time funny one-liners right before you pass out.

Here's how it works:

They'll put a mask with a rubber tube in your mouth for oxygen, and tell you to relax and count back from 10, so you start counting impatiently(it's boring, and there is nothing else to do), wondering when the surgery is going to start.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Now the anesthesiologist is in front of you, checking on you to see if you're OK. "But I haven't finish counting down yet, when is the surgery going to start?" You ask them.

"It's already over", they explain.

Then you realize you are in a completely different room, the tube is no longer in your mouth, but you feel so weak you can hardly move, and the stitches/staples around your new surgery wound is starting to itch.

It's like a segment of your life was cut out and erased into nothingness.

I've never been put under, but I just assumed OP meant that they would say something right before they started counting, not after.

Proper explanation, indeed - you never get all the way through the countdown before you time travel. Beforehand, though (at least in my too many to count without it sounding like a weird brag experiences), the "last words" moment is before the mask, but after the pre-anesthesia. Depends on the procedure, and probably the person, too.

I've had nearly a dozen surgeries, and none of them have gone like that.

Sometimes I have a mask over my face, but mostly I don't, then they give me a little prick in my arm. I feel cold travel up my arm, whilst the person counts down from 10. When the cold gets to my shoulder, which is usually when the countdown is at about 7 or so, I go under, like someone turned off a light, but just slow enough that I can just remember an awareness of being about to go under. There's no weakness, no feeling of being unable to move, just cold travelling up my arm, and then lights out.

Then, I wake up, with an awareness that time has passed, though not an awareness of how long it has been.

Neat, that's legitimately interesting! Maybe you have something unique in your physiology that gives you a different perspective? I'm pushing 6 surgeries under general, and around 5 precedures under IV, probably missing some numbers with my now shoddy memory forming capabilities, but my experiences with the knockout sedation could be described much more similarly to your experience, and a few of the IV sedations weren't as deep, so I remember a bit more of the "in and out", but mostly it's just "Oh, yeah, I feel there's a change in my coherence-BLACKOUT", and then next awareness is recovery room beeps.

It's interesting how different people respond. I remember changing into the tunic/robe, and then nothing. I don't even remember leaving the pre-op room, just waking up in the post-op hallway in one of about 20 beds.

This matches my experience too. Waking up felt like coming out of a deep sleep. I knew time had passed

This is also exactly how I remember my only time under the knife. I remember feeling that cold in my veins and "this is it, I'm passing out any moment now". Then I don't remember anything until I was in the recovery section even though I regained conscience in the operating block as expected. I just remember waking up with the oxygen mask covering my mouth and feeling extremely claustrophobic.

The last 2 times I went under (for a complicated tooth extraction and the subsequent implant) they didn't do the countdown, which surprised me because that was what I remembered most clearly from my lung surgery as a teen. They just asked me if I was comfortable, then said "Good, cause you're about to get extra comfortable!" and we laughed, then I woke up. Maybe it was a dental surgeon thing? But I've also got a really good relationship with the dental techs and the anesthesiologist was a riot.

I've had many surgeries and most were exactly like this. One time, though, I remember counting down too 4 and then saying, "My ears are ringing." The anesthesiologist said, "Is this better?" I said, "Yes," and then woke up.

Hold your breath before the mask goes on then really quickly say "tennineeightsevensixfivefourthreetwoone"

Breath in, and then go "bet you I'm the first to...."

Pass out

I may be wrong, but I think the mask is just oxygen. What puts you under is the stuff they inject you.

In that case the, one liner has to be long and designed in such a way that every word can work as a cliffhanger.

Before I fall a sleep, I should tell you about the secret gold treasure buried under the old…

I could feel that I was going out as I counted. It felt as if I slowly lifted an inch above the operating table and rested on a fluffy white cloud. I could feel them inserting catheter and needles but it didn't hurt even a bit, if anything it tickled. Last sight was the grumpy face of this fridge-sized bald anesthesiologist.

Woke up a second later in Intensive Care unit, surprisingly well rested.

By the way, there was no tube in my mouth. They just put a mask on and it smelled sweet.

I had no mask for my surgery. Maybe because it was removing wisdom teeth.

My surgery was then starting liquid in my arm. I'm wheeled to the surgery room where three nurses are setting things up.

They see I'm nervous. "Don't worry! Doctor X is very good," she pauses. "We do call him the velociraptor though."

"Why?"

"Because he has short arms!"

"That's mean!" I say.

They laugh. "You won't remember, it's fine."

"I'll remember!" I try and say, but my mouth is full of gauze and I'm in a very different room.

No sense of passage of time. In surgery, then in recovery. Hated that.

Same case here with wisdom tooth removal but I do vaguely remember my entire body becoming numb before it stopped being numb instantly and the surgery was over

Depending on how consciousness actually works, the you before that might have died and you're an entirely new consciousness with the same brain and memories.

I've thought about death and what it means a lot in recent months.

As we go to sleep every night, how do we know the you who wakes up the next morning is still you?

While sleeping brain activity retains a natural patern and flow, no point in worrying about that since sleep is absolutely a necessity (and I love it). Anesthesia disrupts this brain activity and interrupts your mental existence.

Not my experience, I was put to sleep through IV and I knew when I was falling asleep. I then had a weird dream mixed with reality, and when I woke up all the text was upside down for a minute.

Same, every time I've had a general aesthetic the anaesthesiologist has sat down near my arm, asked if I'm ready, and when I say "yup" he says some medical jargon to the anesthetist/resp nurse, then warns me that it's going to feel cold and taste funny, he connects a bolus syringe to my IV bung and as he's pushing tells me to count down from ten, and the anesthetist grabs my head gently as the anaesthesiologist moves around towards my head and presumably grabs some other instruments ready to intubate.

My record is 7. But next time I'm going to try counting faster - not sure why but I'd always try to time it to actual seconds.

For GA, I've never been given a gas mask while awake, maybe it's to do with "rapid induction", I'm not 100% sure what that is, only that every anaesthesiologist I've had has said he's going to "rapidly induce" because my connective tissue disorder indicates the need to. I never really questioned it.

The only time I've been given a mask while being told to count was when I was going under twilight sedation for a colonoscopy. as they were administering the IV, they also gave me a mask that was unexpectedly strawberry "flavoured" and I had a panic attack as I was going under because my grandma is allergic to strawberries, I'm not, but in my semi lucid state I forgot I wasn't and started mumbling about being allergic to air.

(I've only ever had male anaesthesiologists, so apppogies for only using male pronouns to describe the doctor)

This. Exactly how I ended up married!

(Come to think of it, the honeymoon ran like that, too.) /s

That's about how it worked for me on the second surgery. Apparently my first words coming to were "holy fuck I need a cigarette"

That’s not how it worked for me either of the two times. I don’t have any memories of going out the first time and I think I kinda woke up kinda normally both times.

I was just put under a couple of weeks ago and they didn't ask me to count down. And it also took longer than that.

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I had a very stodgy surgeon and I actually got a laugh out of him. He checked in with me pre surgery and as he was leaving said he would see me in the OR and I was like I hope I don't see you (meaning I hoped the anesthesia worked). No one else got what I meant except for him and he had a genuine chuckle.

Good luck on the surgery OP

I admit. I just pictured them lying on the operating table about to be knocked out for surgery with them saying "Good luck on the surgery" to the surgeons.

But seriously! Best of luck op!

True story: The morning before going in for foot surgery, my mom was in a silly mood and wrote "wrong foot" on the other non-surgery-scheduled foot with a marker before putting on her socks.

After the surgery everything was fine, and later when checking up on her the surgeon told her everyone in the operating room got a good laugh out of that "wrong foot" message.

Mom was glad her joke worked out, but later started wondering why they were looking at the wrong foot in the first place and now wonders if her private joke to amuse herself actually saved her from having the wrong foot operated upon.

Probably so they could keep an eye on the toenails on the non-operating foot.

There’s a reason they tell you not to wear nail polish before surgery. The nailbeds are one of the best ways to detect cyanosis caused by low oxygen levels in blood.

I’d imagine a “control foot” is probably preferential, and it’s easier to keep an eye on the other foot during surgery than it is to keep an eye on their fingernails.

Meanwhile I got leg amputations where the patient paints their nails before the leg is looped off lol

Medical staff actually DO sometimes write on the appendage that they are supposed to operate on as one of their checks.

Yeah, in my hospital pre-op, we physically hand a marker to the patient and tell them to mark where the surgery will be.

Does that mean I can just mark myself anywhere and you'll operate on it?

Think of all the possibilities!

The patient has to get exposed and positioned, then padded (so there are no pressure injuries, no errant cables or equipment pushing on skin, etc). Also under anesthesia (depending on the type but I'll assume general/completely asleep) you aren't moving and your body may get moved or shifted into an unnatural position.

It's also nice to have controls as mentioned by another reply, but pulse oximetry is great, and can be slapped on any non sterilized area to assess oxygenation.

I had surgery three weeks back. The mood in the OR was good. As they were strapping me to the table for bone surgery on my femur, ( They were going to have to exert force, and I needed to be on my side), I asked them if tbay had all watched the youtube tutorials. Laughs ensued.

*Laughs and slight sideways glances at eachother

Ftfy

Some of them forgot to watch the youtube tutorials

"Anyone need anything while I'm out" ha! That's brilliant. I gotta remember that if I ever need it.

I had to be in twilight, that's where you're basicilly out but can just barely understand what's going on a bit. I was in and out and just absolutely baked. At one point I looked at the anesthesiologist and asked for a little more. He got concerned and asked if I could feel anything? I said "no, no I can't. I'm just having a really good time". I'm not sure because he was wearing a mask and all, but I think he grinned and I have zero memory from then.

You can do what my 4yo did before his last surgery: shout out "WAIT WAIT WAIT!" right before they put on your mask or give you the drip, then hold out your fist and say, "FIST BUMP!"

I went with the Leslie Nielsen quote from the movie Airplane, "I just wanted to say good luck, we're all counting on you."

Bonus points if you say it when entering the operating room, when given the anesthesia and a third time during the surgery itself

Actually when I made the joke, I got zero laughs in the operating room. I had to explain the joke, and still got no real comment/laugh.

I finally followed it up with a Rodney Dangerfield version of "Tough room" and that got a chuckle finally.

Just randomly wake up during your surgery and say it, and then promptly go back to sleep.

"I'm aware that consciousness still exists under general anesthesia, but the brain is no longer capable of forming memories, so have fun stabbing me with knives, I'm actually going to feel it!"

I broke my ankle a few years back and the bones had to be surgically reattached, but the OR was full so they had to set and splint it in the meantime. The shot of fentanyl didn't do anything, so they gave a cocktail that knocked me right the fuck out and set my ankle. My husband said I shot straight up like I was in the Exorcist, yelled and swore a bunch and passed out again. I remember nothing, thankfully.

I've had that. They said I'd be awake but won't remember anything. I'd feel it but won't care.

Sure enough, I'm sitting up in bed, doctors are gone, and my leg is set, I feel totally normal. I had no idea what happened except that they said that'd happen. It was the weirdest experience. I hadn't even changed positions. Like 15 minutes just got stolen from me.

I didn't wake until the next day, they doped me right up or the fentanyl had a delayed reaction cause I slept for a good 15 hours after I was knocked out.

Ah. Mine was to set while waiting for surgery so things didn't tighten up and be harder in the OR. I had tibia and fibula snapped and dislocated ankle. They got the joint back in place and straightened the leg, then put it in a splint to wait in.

They practiced the movements while I was with it and it seemed very violent and physical. Then they dosed me to do the real thing and the next thing I remember was sitting there wondering wtf just happened.

Yep same, I just slept a lot longer, probably cause of the cocktail they had to give me. And waiting for the OR took a little over a day so I was grateful to be out of it the whole time.

But hang on, there's an interesting topic. Is consciousness the current processing, or is it the memory (and perhaps something additional)? Since not all nerve signals arrive in the brain at the same time, consciousness provably isn't immediate. Perhaps it's the recent memory of what just happened?

Fuck dude.... You just told everyone that we're living in a constant state of desync and the gamer in me doesn't know how to handle that

Eh....life is an MMRPG, so a bit of lag is normal...

Separately, is it still pain if you're not conscious of it?

Doctors used to assert that babies didn't feel pain, because 1) they couldn't tell us about it, and 2) they didn't remember it later. They would just not anesthetize babies. Of course, that endpoint of this line of reasoning is horrifying, but it's still a fair question. When we say "pain" do we mean the firing of the nerves, or do we mean awareness of it?

When we say “pain” do we mean the firing of the nerves, or do we mean awareness of it?

I'd say awareness of it, especially considering AFAIK local anesthesia (as in, fully awake during) doesn't stop the nerves from firing, just from the signals getting to the brain, and I'd say that's blocking the pain.^

Also there's an interesting point in there: (this is not a rebuttal, just an addition)

Doctors used to assert that babies didn’t feel pain, because 1) they couldn’t tell us about it, and 2) they didn’t remember it later.

The reason doctors nowadays use anesthesia, (besides it being squick-y not to) is because it was discovered that, (though they may not consciously remember it) it can manifest in PTSD and other trauma related disorders later in life.^

In addition, it was found that there is a heightened level of stress hormones during surgery on infants, which were absent in surgery done with anesthesia.^ (These stress hormones also increased the risk in post-operational complications, due to the hormones acting to break down carbohydrates and other fats in the infant's bodies)

I've had a lot of different injuries. On heavy morphine and pethadine, you definitely feel pain just as bad but you don't care and just kind of forget about it. It's like it dulls the nervous system in a way that it's not blocking signals, it's blocking how your system reacts to them. It's hard to explain, but it's a pretty surreal experience. You should be stressing, but you're not. You're very aware of the severity of the injury, but you're totally calm about it and it slips your mind, like pain is the lowest concern.

I'm usually thinking like, "I wonder how the fix will go? What if I need to pee? I hope recovery isn't months... Oh, yeah, and my limb is on fire with a bone sticking out, but they're on it. I hope there's no snorers in my ward and the food's good. It'd be nice if they operate this evening because this sucks. I hope I can self-medicate morphine for sleep tonight. That really helped last time. I feel fucking great and am dribbling. Oh, yeah, and my limb is on fire with a bone sticking out. Meh..."

"carbohydrates and other fats"? Did I not pay attention about carbohydrates in school?

To be fair, dosing babies with anesthesia is way more difficult, and there’s zero record of whether they have any drug allergies or intolerances

and there’s zero record of whether they have any drug allergies or intolerances

Nowadays, you can test for anesthetic drug resistances with DNA site testing, (as in, a blood test), though of course, this does not mean that it is always used, for various reasons.

A personal anecdote:

I've had one done after I had bad side-effects to ADHD medication I had tried, and I haven't had any bad effects in the medications I've tried since. (besides drowsiness)

Edit: I want to say, I'm not saying that getting the dosage right is not incredibly difficult, I just wanted to mention that we can detect drug allergies without putting them under, (so to speak).

That’s good to know! I just swelled up for a week because my new dentist used a different kind of local anesthetic, so it was close to the front of my mind. That would have helped a lot

Note that you're getting into something that was a big deal in the 70s and 80s. They'd perform any surgery on babies without anesthetic (which is dangerous to babies) because it was believed that they wouldn't remember anyway so it wasn't a big deal after all. I suspect that people will learn about this with horror.

To the best of my understanding this is why local and general anesthesia can be the best combo.

General keeps you from being conscious of the damage of the knives during the surgical procedure. Local numbs the area to keep the brain from being aware that damage is happening. Reducing trauma sounds like a good idea to me.

Pain is fascinating (particularly if you're not the one experiencing it.) Two people experiencing the exact same nerve stimulation can be painful to one but not the other. Context, life history and experience, and expectations all play into the experience of pain. In general, your brain determines if something is painful, then you do or don't experience that pain. People can be shot or stabbed and be completely unaware until the brain decides it's time to let them know.

Yes, pain is pain. People can still feel it and suffer even if they do not remember it. Anesthesia in context of surgery is too complex of a topic for me to comment on but I do frequently manage patients that are sedated, on ventilators either going to or coming from surgery. There are different scales and tools we use to assess if someone is under sedated or in pain. Keeping explanations simple pain can reflect as changes in vital signs, rigid or tense muscles, facial expressions. Sedation in the context I’m referring to is more a scale of either how awake someone is or what type of stimulation they respond to, for example do they open their eyes if someone says their name? Or do they open their eyes if I gently tap on their shoulder or do I need to put pressure on their nail bed for them to respond, if they respond at all. If they’re sedated enough they won’t remember the pain but they would still feel pain. Again this is NOT referring to general anesthesia during surgery, that is too complex and anesthesiologist have a very difficult job ensuring people are adequately medicated for surgery while also ensuring that they treat the side effects of the anesthesia medications so they don’t just kill people.

The two do have some overlap and my previous statement assumes no chemical paralysis. There are also times where it is acceptable to just sedate someone, or do something emergent without sedation and then giving something like Versed which causes retrograde amnesia. The person may have been fully conscious and felt everything that just happened but still won’t remember it.

This is a bit of an oversimplification but I’d say firing of the nerves is pain. I don’t have literature available to support but I know giving babies anesthesia is very dangerous so I would like to believe that the reasons you listed where just an over simplified “it’s really okay to do X or Y because they won’t remember it” rather than explaining to a parent in a way that they would truly understand the risk of anesthesia for a baby AND still allow whatever procedure to be done or force a parent to knowingly elect to put their baby through pain and suffering for a procedure. But again, not a doctor and I don’t work with people/babies during surgery

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It's not just the brain. From what I understand, muscles and what-not would still react to stimuli and damage if not for anesthesia.

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OP -- can you please come back after the surgery and let us know that you're okay?

Yeah, as funny as this is, it would be even funnier if you got back

The one and only time I was put under I said "you know what you're doing, eh?" And he just put me out. I didn't mean to say that, I was just nervous. I did see a nurse laugh though so that's nice.

Brilliant. Part of my procedure is being performed robotically, so I may have to ask that of the robot...

Oh in that case you could ask if it's running on Windows, cos you don't want any forced updates halfway through...

(I know this is probably impossible, but it would be so funny)

Tell a knock knock joke, but only the first part. Don't reveal the punchline, just pass out. So they work extra hard to keep you alive, because only then will they hear the punchline.

They won’t either way. You’ll wake up in a hospital room terribly confused and barely able to move. Most of the operating staff will not see you then.

The first words are likely "thirsty".

In your best Ace Ventura voice: “If I’m not back in five minutes…just wait longer.”

Good luck with your surgery, hope it goes well and your recovery is as easy as it can be. 🙏

Similarly,"and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

Good luck with your surgery, hope it goes well and your recovery is as easy as it can be. 🙏

For a second I thought that was your suggestion for what OP should say to the surgeon.

We should normalize wishing your surgeon good luck, have fun before he operates on you, and then GG if it’s successful and you live

If I happen to be the doctor and it's someone else going under I'd say "Okay, let's get this leg amputated!" when that is NOT the actual operation happening.

OK, so let's get those ears removed!

Yes, I'm hungieee

Not a one-liner. You better start this one as soon as you're rolled into the room.

My instructor was Mr Langley and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

It’s called “Daisy”.

♪ Daisy, Daisy
♪ Give me your answer, do,
♪ I’m half crazy
♪ All for the love of you
♪ It won’t be a stylish marriage
♪ I can't afford a carriage
♪ But you’ll look sweet
♪ Upon the seat
♪ Of a bicycle built for two.

Hopefully, the anesthesiologist has seen 2001: A Space Odyssey. You’ll go down about halfway through.

The scene (spoilers for 2001) • Cleaner copy of the song to learn the melody from
No need to try for a computery voice, the oxygen mask will obfuscate it enough.

"I'll see you on the other side." Works both ways.

"Smoke me a kipper. I'll be back for breakfast".

Only the coolest people will get that reference.

Edit: and you want to make sure your surgeon is cool!

I was chatting to my dentist about having a mild fear of pain during the procedure, mainly thanks to Laurence Olivier, and his next question was, 'Is it safe?'

Last time I had to be knocked out for surgery, I remember feeling myself fading out, and just before everything went out I felt the nurses and technicians getting me uncovered, when one of them exclaimed "Wow! Look at all that red hair!"

She wasn't looking at my head.

"don't touch my junk" - "not bad for a first date" - "any message for the other side?" - "I'll let you know what the old man says" - "delete my browser history" - "I forgot the stove on"

I'm getting SRS next year. Idk if the first one would or wouldn't work, the second one could be spicy lol

I hope it is everything you envision it to be, and I wish you the very best.

Thank you <3 I never thought I'd actually have the chance for anything like this but I managed to luck out at a tech job with good insurance. It's all still a bit wild to me that it is even an option

"So long, and thanks for all the fish."

"I'm not usually this easy."

"I'm ready for my close up."

"Not this again."

Good luck for Friday! Hopefully you can post an update next week, so we know you're with us. This may interest you; my wife used to be an anaesthetist, and during long, boring procedures would give the patient a facial - blackhead removal etc. It's considered unethical, but she delighted in them waking up looking great.

Barring any issues that could have brought her in certain circumstances, that's adorable! How nice to have something immediately positive to wake up to, besides the post-surgery uncomfortable everything else. I was very happy to learn that our state is one of the few that's thankfully outlawed got-dang pelvic examinations under general anesthesia, unless they have specific prior consent - with some of the things US teaching hospitals allow, I'd be down for some unethical unconscious skincare.

Whether you are happy or not depends very much on the gender of the anaesthetist here.

It's not the anaesthetist that does pelvic exams, it's medical students. Medical students need experience so they practice on anaesthetized patients. There was a story on the radio of a male medical student who was supposed to do an exam on a woman and he realized that she was unaware and hadn't specifically consented and so he mentioned his concerns to his peers and it started a discussion worldwide about the practice. I don't think the practice is limited to pelvic exams.

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Never really thought about it. I suppose I would prefer a woman to do it, but wouldn't necessarily mind if a man did it IF I wasn't completely creeped out that they did something purposeful and unnecessary to me while I was knocked out.

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I know, it's stupid, but anyway...

"If I don't survive, tell everyone I used GNU+Linux, btw."

But realistically, I'd probably be repeating this to myself: "Do not talk right after you wake up! Do not talk right after you wake up! Check the time, wait at least 2 hours. Do not trust yourself right after you wake up!" in hope that I'd remember to do so as to not accidentally disclose private information while still being high.

Propofol is a hell of a drug. It’s impossible to not say something since your prefrontal cortex is basically still off.

My wife is an RN for the place I had a procedure done and I came out of it asking the anesthesiologist how much she made and telling her my wife was thinking of becoming a nurse anesthetist. The staff thought it was hilarious of course.

So you want people to know you use GNU+Linux, and at the same time believe you have important "private information" you're likely to disclose while recovering from a general anaesthetic?

The last thing I said before going under general anesthesia a couple of weeks ago was "I don't think it's working." Because I'm a fucking genius.

Thank you for asking this. I’m going under day after tomorrow for knee surgery, so I’m going to pick one of these to use. :)

You have to slip in some kind of line about taking an arrow to the knee.

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Y'all showed up for this post! Lemmy is looking better all the time :)

TW: Existentialism/Death

Not a funny thing to say before going out, but when I was about to do the mask I thought about what it would be like to be totally unconscious after I die, and woke up laughing and cracking jokes. It wasn't so bad during the procedure when my awareness was off 😜

Now I lay me down to sleep, the chaos take my soul to keep. If I should die, before I wake, the Lords of Chaos my vengeance to take.

Or Joe Pesci, he gets shit done.

Last time I had surgery, I think I made a comment about the surgeon's good taste in music. I was in Argentina, but the surgeon was listening to US 80s music :)

I actually did this one.

I was having my wisdom teeth removed. I was like 23. The anesthesiologist was a cute little blonde chick. Apparently the last thing I said before I went under was "Man this girl is a real...knockout..."

I didn't get her number.

The galaxy is in Orion's bell...

The line is "the galaxy is on Orion's belt"

The alien couldn't think of the word "collar"

Good luck op! I hope it's a success Friday!

Man, that's rough, fingers crossed for you yo!!!

Also, "I'll see you in there."

"Hey, who's that tall, hairy woman in white dress behind you?"

"I usually prefer isoflurane, but I'll take a hit of this" only works if they don't use isoflurane.

"So this was what it was like for my victims" if you want to go dark.

"Is now a bad time to tell you guys I smoke crystal meth and use other amphetamines?" Real zinger, they love it

It's funny for you, but definitely not funny to them. They will have to pause and go through everything with you again if they think there is even the slightest chance you are telling the truth. Anthstisiea and street drugs definitely don't mix.

Make comments unrelated to your actual procedure.

"hope the transplant goes well." / "really looking forward to this m to f transition"

when I came to from getting my wisdom teeth out I said "you guys stole my teeth!"

my buddy pretended to not wake back up and then scared the nurse

Do not try to deceive or scare the Post Op nurse. They have powers you'd happily avoid.

That’s not how anesthesia works. It’s not like waking up from a light sleep and keeping your eyes closed.

its impossible to close your eyes again after initially waking up

I've been with a number of people as they came out of anesthesia and they were "awake" and talking before they were really conscious of it. Same experience with my own surgeries; I have no recollection of eating a popsicle but apparently I did and tried to share it with the whole nursing staff.

I think your friend is full of shit.

You’d be lucky to even have the consciousness of knowing the surgery was already done let alone what just happened to even plan such a prank.

maybe if youre simple. however, some possess knowledge beyond your feeble comprehension 🍷🧐

Saying I don't consent to surgery isn't the best thing to say. But gosh the the doctors face... priceless

Any professional would cancel the procedure at this point. Too much liability now.

There are a lot of good ones out there, but this just seems like a stupid move tbh and a way to get your surgery cancelled

“I had sex with your…”

Nothing pisses off a nurse than some smart guy trying to be funny. I speak from experience.

Then I'm glad I know my entire team, going in, and they're all remarkably empathetic to their terrified, high-risk patient! Chances are, any final words through twilight sleep will be a last sentiment to my spouse, in case I don't make it through. After my tight-five, of course, using the IV pole as a mic.

This was the nurse assigned to that specific shift and had nothing to do with the team that was doing the operation. I think her job was only to do intake and get you set up in a bed/etc. When asked what I was there for, I smiled and said "a lobotomy". To look at her face, I had just insulted her grandmother's apple pie.

Weird reaction. Maybe one of her ancestors had a lobotomy or something and she thought someone sent you to fuck with her.

I took two points away from this:

  1. She has no humor/had a bad day/etc
  2. They are all about the process/procedure and me making a joke broke the line of movement

Either way, it seemed a stupid reaction and I felt very poorly about her ever since then. It's been maybe 12 years and I still think of it sometimes.-

You are hereby granted external permission to stop cringing at that memory. Some people just react poorly to humor, that's not on you.

Thanks for that, I hadn't thought of it in those terms. Shockingly, being given permission somehow helped? I'll have to remember that the next time I see someone in distress.

I could easily spew up the angry contents of the rabbit holes that are lobotomies, and their horror, but yeah, I also agree that that's a weird reaction. I chuckled. I may have to reserve your comment for my next intake at the neurologist, depending on the vibe in the room (but also not, cause those folks professionally monitor how well my brain is functioning lol)

How do you get to know the entire team? It's hard for me to imagine as the ones you interact with are the surgeons and anesthesiologist as they will talk to you in the ward at some point in time when making their round. But the surgery nurses only stay at surgery theatres or operating rooms and don't do any round at wards. Patients won't likely know them.

I can't imagine why people downvoted you for that. What you said is how the vast majority of interactions would operate.

People want to a feel good story I guess. My question doesn't aligned with that.

Not that I know each of them as buddies, but at least by face and bedside manner

By the time patients arrive at the operating room, all they see are people in mask. Patients can somehow recognize their doctors through their voices and characters. The nurses - there are no points of reference to recognize them. If these nurses happen to walk in front of the patient outside of the operation room, it will be with almost certainty the patients won't recognize them.

When OP explain they know them by their bedsite manners, how could that be possible? Which hospital has surgery nurses who happen to function as ward nurses (bedsite)? Or, which hospital has the convenience to allow their surgery nurses to meet their patients at wards, which is not their normal place of work. Not only that it's not normal for surgery nurses to do that, it's abnormal.

I try to imagine the SOP of the hospital where the surgery nurses were able to show themselves to OP, damn, I still can't. I am really out of loop.

I'll get downvoted again for this. I'll take it with pride.

It does seem that in this case the person was receiving extensive specialized care and had a team formed specifically to attend to their needs. It wasn't just going in for your regular surgery, in which case your version is more likely.

yeah. that could.explain it. my knowledge and experience is not enough, made me out of the loop.

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Jeez. Medical staff can have senses of humor too. Not everyone is a robot or the same person.

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"Nobody better touch my stuff..."

Good luck OP, I certainly hope your username is NOT relevant in this case.

Much appreciated! I sure as heck hope that, too, haha - my username is mostly related to my epilepsy, and how my oodles of seizures make me feel. Just...various, classic Windows error "bonk!" sounds, amongst other glitches, but in ma' brain.

"The code is burned onto the back of my left kidney. If I die, be a hero."

My docs had a bit of fun with me, after gassing me up a bit they turned on Tina turners 'what's love got to do with it' turned around to give a look and a grin.

fade to black...

" hey you... glad you're awake...."

haha ...couldn't resist sorry.

"I want my last words to be funny, so try not to laugh."

I'm going under on Monday to get my ankle put back together. I'm totally using stuff that I found here.

My best line was when my wife tried being funny and asked "did you turn the stove off?" My response was "no" apparently and she actually called her friend to go check. I was just trying to rile her up like she was trying with me.

Doing the "who are you" bit when you wake up might be more amusing and easier to pull off (considering you don't normally know when you're going to pass out)

Might be more difficult to do when you wake up as you have the chance to actually have no fucking clue what's going on

If anything goes wrong, tell my wife that I forgot to do the laundry.

"In case anything happens, I brought my mummification tools just in case."