Missing cold pizza

nifty@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world – 297 points –
226

like how a group of crows is a "murder", I hold that a group of coffees is a "nebula"

Right?

I get in the mood for some of those some of the time, but most days?

Gimme 15 cups of coffee, don't talk to me until the third cup, and get outta my fuckin way when it's time for the coffee shit.

That's the worst looking breakfast I have ever seen. Everything on there looks terrible.

I'd go toast, OJ and coffee. Fuck the rest.

I love chocolate pancakes! Here's the recipe I use:

1 18.25 ounce package chocolate pancake mix.

3/4 cup vegetable oil.

4 large eggs.

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.

3/4 cups butter or margarine.

1&2/3 cups granulated sugar.

2 cups all purpose flour.

Don't forget garnishes such as:

Fish shaped crackers.

Fish shaped candies.

Fish shaped solid waste,

Fish shaped dirt.

Fish shaped ethyl benzene.

Pull and peel licorice..

Fish shaped volatile organic compounds

and sediment shaped sediment.

Candy coated peanut butter pieces, Shaped like fish.

1 cup lemon juice.

Alpha resins.

Unsaturated polyester resin.

Fiberglass surface resins.

And volatile malted milk impoundments.

9 large egg yolks.

12 medium geosynthetic membranes.

1 cup granulated sugar.

An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'.

2 cups rhubarb, sliced.

2/3 cups granulated rhubarb.

1 tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.

1 teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.

3 tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.

1 large rhubarb.

1 cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.

2 tablespoons rhubarb juice.

Adjustable aluminum head positioner.

Slaughter electric needle injector.

Cordless electric needle injector.

Injector needle driver.

Injector needle gun.

Cranial caps.

And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals that will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.

I tried this recipe but felt it needed a little something so I swapped out the 2 cups of AP flour for canned rhubarb and that's just what it was missing! 5 stars

Any tips on getting your ethyl benzene into a fish shape? Mine always turn out looking like Pac-Man ghosts

The fish shaped solid waste gives it that extra "please call Poison Control" zest.

What people think a typical English breakfast is:

What a typical English breakfast actually is:

Weekends Vs weekdays

If you eat that every weekend and weekday, you'll singlehandedly collapse the NHS.

Smokers actually save the NHS money

Only if they smoke heavily, contract one of the many diseases, don't seek medical help, and die in their own home.

I belive the first one is a full English breakfast. Can't do full most days.

There's a place right by my house that does full English and it's heavenly.

Not a single vegetable was harmed

Do you know what a potato is? Are you one?

Vegetables are clearly a fruit

Edit: I meant to say potatoes are a fruit, to be an ass. But this is somehow just as funny.

Potato is a tuber.

Vegetable is a culinary classification, not a botanical one.

I don't know what a potato is. Never heard of it.

That is no breakfast, this is American junk food at its prime.

Exactly. Only the drinks can qualify as a part of breakfast.

Outside of the fries and pancakes the rest isn't that bad. Hurr dürr hate on America and all because it's popular to do so. But hash browns and home fries are just potatoes browned with butter in a skillet. Bacon and sausage and eggs are a decent source of protein. Toast is normal unless you live somewhere that hasn't learned what bread is. English muffins are no worse than toast and biscuits aren't even awful on their own. Juice, milk and coffee are all fine. I guess I don't see the "prime American junk food" outside of the sugary pancakes and fries. And frankly as an American I wouldn't eat any of those for breakfast. The blueberry pancakes on occasion but never the other two.

Maybe they'd be less antagonistic if the prices were metric

Yep, no bread on that board, no butter and cheese and no vegetables.

Why do people keep saying this? Do you not know what toast is? It's literally sliced bread + heat.

It's a question of quality and crust.

Edit: you can enter into the search engine of your choice the word "bread" and the word "Brot" (German for bread) to see the difference we're talking about.

Coffee

Coffee

Coffee
Coffee
Coffee
Coffee
Coffee

Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee Coffee
Makes you high, makes you hide
Makes you really want to go

Coffee
Coffee
Coffee
Stop

Hello insomnia, my old friend.

I've come to not sleep ever again.

I take the $15 and invest it in the market. Now I am billionaire. If only you all would do the same \s

This one trick makes us all in awe of you

This is just a Denny's ad and I know this because I worked there for more than 10 years and we used these exact pictures for probably that entire time.

Ain't no one spending 5 of those dollars on pancakes

For real. I'm baffled every time when I go out and see the prices of "Crêpes". I can and do make ten or twenty pieces at home for the price of one. All the fun of flipping them included! (Since I'm Yuropean, it's what we just call pancakes. The same principle applies to American pancakes too, just with a few more ingredients.)

Yeah. I just spent 8,50€ on a smaller portion of worse looking ones yesterday :(

I'd let seven oj's fight seven glasses of milk in my stomach, down the strongest coffee known to humankind afterwards and then wonder why my tummy hurts...

You're going to blow a hole through your pants when you pour that coffee on top.

The only correct answer is sausage, eggs, bacon, toast and coffee

The only way to settle this is everyone eats their chosen breakfast and dukes it out

This isn't a shitpost it's an IHOP ad

It’s a shillpost

Edit honestly I have no idea, i just thought it was missing cold pizza as a breakfast option

Sausage, eggs, coffe. Everything else is either deep fried or full of sugar. OK I'd get the milk too.

Who the hell is having chips for breakfast

I'm calling the breakfast police

Edit: in answer to the question, bacon/sausage butty or scrambled on toast, orange juice and then the rest on coffee is probably not far from a standard morning

I usually don't but there's a cafe in my town that does a fry that includes chips. I've also seen it commonly done when I've been on holiday abroad at cafes/restaurants ran by brits

14 glasses of milk followed by one glass of orange juice, please. With pulp.

Just my favourite! Milk without pulp is gross.

2 milk

4 biscuit.

$6 is a steal.

Look at the macros...if it's 2% or whole you're good for half a day

Edit: $4 eggs??? Get fucked.

Bacon, sausage, hash browns, English muffin(buttered and jam), 2 glasses of OJ.

The 1$ and 4$ is the only choices..the rest is sugar and carbs. No thanks.

No thanks, I'll stay home

You’re missing out on artery clogging, more clogged arteries for me 🙌

Sausage, eggs, beacon, toast and coffee

Why does bean water and fruit water cost the same as cow water?

Because of dairy subsidies.

That doesn't explain the bean water and the fruit water costing the same.

Coffee beans are seeds from a fruit.

Yeah, but different crops have different expenses and are sold for different amounts of money. Based on price and the volume sold, I would say that bean water should be cheaper than fruit water.

Bacon, eggs, hash browns, toast, coffee with $1 to spare.

Or eggs, hash browns, biscuits and coffee with $5 to spare.

Coffee, hash browns, eggs. Then I spend my remaining money on hot sauce or green chile.

So there's fried carbs with extra sugar on top, highly processed animal products, regular baked carbs, or sugar in a cup... eghh

Give me oatmeal that's healthy and costs $1.

You do you, but if I'm up early enough to have breakfast, I'm unhappy about that, so I'm not gonna get hung up on levels of processing or grams of carbs.

Give me fried pig and chicken ova. And lots of coffee.

All I want is everything in the $4 row. I don't want anything else. can I still participate?

$4 row gang!

I’ll take a glass of water too but that’s not on here.

Can you get me three cups of coffee? My first fifteen aren't cutting it.

Bacon, eggs, hashbrown, an english muffin, and a glass of milk... is what I would say if I were a teenager again. I'll probably just have an english muffin, a cup of tea, and a fruit.

Bacon, sausage, tattie scones, baked beans mushrooms, fried tomato, black pudding, and haggis. Irn Bru to drink. Breakfast of champions.

Look and learn

Bacon, Eggs, Toast, Home Fries, Coffee, OJ. BAM. Perfect breakie. Just don't forget the tobasco!

Eggs, hash browns, biscuits (if they are with squeezed pork greives, otherwise english muffin), espresso, espresso, espresso, espresso, espresso aaaand espresso.

That 15$, right?

It’s $15 just for you

ooh, thanks

though I' curious, making dessert/dinner be most expensive category is unusual

Well I don't see any damn gravy to go with those biscuits so I guess I'm gonna have to go with a $4 sausagep late plus $1 glass of milk and hope someone has some flour I can borrow.

My final order would be a double order of biscuits and gravy, and use the remaining dollar for a cup of coffee.

easy.

  • coffee - cream and sugar
  • toast - sourdough, buttered
  • hash browns - add Chipotle Tabasco
  • bacon - barely crispy
  • eggs - over easy, so I can dip my toast in the runny yolk
  • more coffee - more cream and more sugar

best breakfast. fite me.
might make breakfast for dinner tonight.

Just curious about why you need toast AND pancakes, not just one or the other?

nah, no pancakes :)

Sorry I spelled hashbrowns wrong.

Let me rephrase; why do you like both toast AND hashbrowns?

they're sufficiently different in my opinion. one is bread, the other is potato. the hashbrowns, ideally a bit greasy, are little shredded potato vehicles for Chipotle hot sauce. the toast is a buttery bread vehicle for egg yolk.

I see, the four flavours on your plate each get paired up with another.

I, a 170lb 6'2" dude , have to choose one carb over the other because I can't stomach both, but I notice it's common for menu items to have toast on the side of another type of grain, so I figured it must be for a reason

These are not interchangeable for me.

Pancakes are a filling main item, dressed with syrup. Toast is a vehicle for egg yolk, jelly/jam, or as a sandwich foundation.

Bruh, that's some fucking expensive ass breakfast. If I'm eating at home, I'ma making a bloody 3 course meal for 15$. My breakfast rarely goes over 2$, that being an unreasonable liter of milk and 2 ham/lettuce/mayo/ketchup sandwiches. Where the milk is by far the most expensive part, as in like 75% of the cost.

Yeah I am not spending $15 daily on a breakfast, I’ll eat that on a weekend before a hike though

Bacon, sausage, eggs, biscuits (or toast), coffee.

$4 Sausage $4 Eggs $4 Bacon $2 Toast $1 OJ

The price seems very high for each ingredient but it sounds great as a breakfast

3 bacon plates

1 coffee

Done

$15 of coffee, and then I turn into Barry Allen, sneak into the kitchen and steal all the rest of it.

All of the $4 row and any one of the $2 and $1 row each. My preference is the coffee and an English muffin.

Sausage, eggs, hash brown, toast, oj, tip the last dollar (most likely).

I make it for 11$: coffee, biscuits, bacon and eggs. Hot sauce comes free of charge

15 glasses of orange juice. Then I'll wonder where the dark bread is.

What the fuck is... home fries?

the correct config is Sausage, Egg, Hashbrowns in a bowl, two OJs and two coffees, btw.

sausage, eggs, double serving of hash browns, either oj or coffee depending on mood.

I read Oil instead of OJ and just thought man that's some American breakfast option

Eggs, Bacon, hash browns, toast, coffee, and orange juice please

Bacon, sausage, toast, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, and a $1 tip to whoever cleans the bathroom

Sausage, eggs, home fries, english muffin, milk, oj

Sausage, eggs, bacon, toast, oj

Eggs, hashbrowns, toast, OJ, milk and biscuits. This is just my regular breakfast lol

Milk, milk, coffee, English Muffin, bacon, eggs (where's my cheese?)

Pancakes, eggs, bacon, OJ, milk. Everywhere I go out for breakfast, I to look for the closest thing on the menu to this.

And cold fried chicken.

Anyway, Bacon, eggs, hashbrowns, biscuits, OJ.

Bruh I'm just having a coffee and a lil krentebol with some butter and cheese

Where is the sour milk? Where are the rasins? where is the sugar? Where is the cinnamon?

All those things are garnishes not breakfast food per se

Wait are you a little bird or small mouse?

That is just the starter...

And will get you time to get me tunnbröd, butter and prästost

Blueberry pancakes, sausage, OJ, coffee. I don't need/want any more

Coffee, toast, chocolate chip pancake.

And the change I'll to any person who wants to buy more things for them.

Bowl of cereal, apple, cup of tea, couple of digestives to dunk. None of which are on the list...

Are refills free? If so, I'm fine at $1 most days.

Also, where are: plain pancakes, sausage gravy, waffles, and anything remotely resembling something other than "northern US white people food" for lack of a better term.

Sausage gravy over biscuits is one of the very few things that make me appreciate the South.

Y'all have something special there.

Blueberry, bacon, hash browns, english muffin and substitute root beer for the beverage.