I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.
And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.
I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.
I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.
I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.
I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?
Truly the best unlife.
I like my odds
🎵 beeee bap bap ba da bum, bee bap bap ba da bum 🎶
Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.
On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.
Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.
I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.
Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.
Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.
Matlock the Warlock.
I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out
Not happy about this, but present
Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.
I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.
You seem like the kinda person who sees the glass half full, even when it’s completely empty
I'll be OK.
Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge
I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.
or I die by licking a diseased corpse.
So, hard to tell if its good or bad.
Not too bad,
I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!
(And it's got a picture of a train!)
At least I’ll be fed
It's me or the other guy
I'm in GREAT shape. :D
Roll around in some kelp and then float away
Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….
Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.
I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened
My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐
Baaaah. I will infect the herd. I look (sound) like one of you until it's too late
I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽
Nope, always feel 20. At least you never get demensia
I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.
For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy
Apparently this is fun for many. Is fun not allowed here?
Doing "this" is actually known as "krudling", believe it or not. This guy's into meta humor
Oh, ohhh. I like it, if that's actually true. Couldn't find a reference to that, though. Did you make that up?
Naw not a real thing, I was being a smartass!
"Krudling" does have a nice ring to it, though.
And it is a hell of a diss, I support this term
Tbh I really hated the krudling posts on reddit, but here not so much. Maybe because I don't feel like the platform is gaming my engagement, so I don't have to feel guilty
It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.
... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.
Looks like I'm drinking my way out of this. Who wants a brewski?
I'll be right there with you.
could be worse
Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.
You got a quarter?
I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse
I feel pretty safe
The first stage of grief is denial
I’ll figure something out
What a quintessentially human attitude
Into this world we're thrown
Everyone will let the Wookie win?
I can’t guarantee the Wookie will win. Place your bets and let’s see who loses an arm.
Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm... uhh. I think I'm screwed here.
At least you have a pi(e).
I almost get 100,000 pis. Almost, but not quite :'(
Oh fuck.
Kawaii imouto looks up with puppy eyes
I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...
emu war ptsd intensifies
If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright
Brb, loading up on carbs.
Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal
I think I'll be ok.
Well, fuck
I'm in luck! 😁
Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.
Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside
Pretty good actually.
I certainly wont be starving to death!
I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.
McDonald's stocks go up 200%
I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.
Has a slightly toxic, mysandristic taste to it, but overall the stew is much more palatable than anything else that came from this awkward creature.
Note that you get a causal turtle stew enjoyer, not a casual turtle stew
Usually I'm a "silence, brand" kind of person but the clear, vivid, outdated commercial in my head got laugh. Why am I imagining a dude in a windbreaker?
He better have the matching wind pants.
It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
Can i manifest it as a super power?
Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.
I'm aceing at it, sadly.
I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.
It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?
It's bad.
The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.
Si vous dites mon nom, vous comprendrez.
Mais qu’est-ce que c’est?
Oui! Exactement!
I'm used to it.
Ooo fishies
Sorry guys, the end times are on us, but at least they're cute and fluffy.
I guess something is better than nothing.
Oh well, I'll die happy
Pretty good I think!
Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war
Praise to Armok, dwarves all kneel!
Praise the God of Blood and Steel!
Drain the River, burn the Wood!
Praise the God of Steel and Blood!
Praise to Armok, dwarves obey!
Praise the God of Rend and Slay!
Smelt the Metal, cut the Gem!
Praise the God of Slay and Rend!
Praise to Armok, dwarves attack!
Praise the God of Shield and Pick!
Strike the foeman! Never yield!
Praise the God of Pick and Shield!
I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.
My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger
Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly
At least you can travel faster than the speed of sound
Seems like a fun spell
Well I either got a personal fire or I'm on fire myself. Witch fire sounds better
I'm going to pick my nose!
People think I'm bullshitting all the time.
Mecha + Magic = Mechagic
Im in a magic mecha, i think im doing well
Oooo, who should tell him?
Irl cockroach is my display name, it is not my username
I think you used your alt account, you're username is IRL cockroach
Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.
Pretty good but I have the feeling Quantum Computing will kill me if Im not careful.
I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!
Basically no change.
im now a vampire with a slutty thrall?
i guess theres worse ways to live
unlive, rather
I guess this one is a bit of a freebie for me.
Porn i guess
Would be nice to be buzzed all the time
Not a lot changes
This is the way
With the US healthcare system? Expensive.
I'm already dead
F
I'm not gonna worry about it
May very well go up in flames, is how bad.
I now rule a highly advanced, militaristic, and xenophobic alternate reality and have psionic abilities. It's not as great as is sounds, my future wife is going to psionically teleport a gray-goo bomb into my chest at the end of the big climactic boss fight.
Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.
Uhhhh...
I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!
Not nice
As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...
I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.
I'm fucked.
At least you'll leave a beautiful corpse.
So glowy!
I'll be fine
I think I'd be alright.
I cast spells
I'd be just fine.
your cash and your jewelry is what i expect
Not bad at all.
I hope for your sake that your name isn't Jack.
The Grasshopper Mouse kills scorpions and then screams about it afterwards, so I think I'll do alright.
I mean... I'm a pope and a king. I think I'll be alright.
Quite a few of them were killed when they were a thing.
Curse this mortality, amiright fellow human?
Most of them are dead, but Mr Burns has enough money to keep me going a while.
I think it'll be okay come night time.
alright, how many pancake usernames are there. this isn’t fair
I need to work on my temper
I mean, you tell me.
Hmm
I'm not allowed to drink anything I guess
You’ll be wanting a cup of tea so. Go on have a cup, it’s fresh. No? Ah go on! Have a cup of tea. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on …..
I feel like I'm not the one it's bad for.
Stressful mostly
I guess I need to find a Gleemonex dealer.
I'm pretty happy.
I’m pretty sure I’d be ok in multiple realities
Silver Wings of Morning is a Shatterling ship of Gentian Line. Shatterlings exist six million years in the future. The ship is so large that it contains other ships in its hanger.
I will have no trouble surviving in this futuristic ship.
Noisy.
Same
I would have to go back to reddit to get an "open in new tab" function. This username is actually because I created an account once (years ago) after nuking my first one just so I could have the "open in new tab" functionality back.
Well, I can hunt, I guess.
I'll be just fine.
I'll be fine with the powers of the wizard king of Israel, weed and dinner for two...
Do you guys think Elon would let me take his SpaceX Starship in a time machine back to 2021 so I could fly to Mars and survive?
No, I do not have $4 billion to pay for this endeavor, I'll just take out a loan and tell the bank its for a scientific breakthrough.
Mine is the name of a character I used to play tabletop.
He was a Chaos Space Marine.
I think I'll be okay.
The walls are closing in...
I'm mostly fine, I hope
It doesn't have to be good, right?
I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay
But what if it didn't happen in my timeline?
I guess I'm a rightwing pod caster now.
FUCKING PRONOUNS
Bamboo-fed, succulent and juicy steaks
Yeah I’m pretty fucked if my ability to stay alive is predicated upon my assembly programming abilities. Don’t ask me to multiply.
Not so bad
We musn't speak of him. He is legend.
shrugs I just do.
Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.
Another day on the job, comrades
at least you’re the top performer
Not bad, especially if she comes with her ship.
Guess I'm a melee mercenary in a ranged weapons world now. Sucks, but at least I get self healing? Also an immunity, come to think of it.
I'm good. Nom nom nom
Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.
I'm a fake Belgian/Dutchie.
I mean, probably wouldn't be bad initially. It would just get worse as time goes on.
Suddenly I need to order a lot of explosives...
I'm already gone.
My name is genuinely not actually Steve so I'm good
So, everything that is not Steve is at your disposal. Nice.
I'll be fiiiiiine
Your handle reminds me of that blond joke where she hides in a bag of potatoes and when someone kicks it to see whats inside she says "potatopotatopotato"
Bout the same, but my life expectancy just got extended by around a factor of 2
I'm fire proof, and a shit speller.
I uh ... might be okay once I figure out what's going on
too bad you don’t have an arc that emits light
I’m still here.
If everyone dressed like me the world would be a much less violent place
No one knows.
Oh my, this is not gonna go well.
I think for me, there'd be some sort of lord involved. Couldn't tell you what would happen, though.
Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes
I try to save money anyway, so I guess it’ll be ok. At least as long as nobody needs avenged.
I spelt mine wrong.
... I think it'd be something you'd call an oxymoron.
I guess I am drilling wells? Maybe manageable.
Pretty appropriate considering it means "The fuck is that?" where I'm from (not written the real way mind you, it would be "Quessé ça?" and that would still be "slang")
Please, ya gotta help me Tony! I don't know what else to do!
Make of me what you will…
"CanopyFlyer" is a reference to my skydiving days.
I have a tad over 4500 skydives.
Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I'd be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.
That's a lot of jumps and pretty long ago. What made you stop?
I was on a 4-way and 8-way competitive team and we had sponsorship for most of the time we were together. When your training jumps are free, you do a lot of them. All of my winter vacations for years was to Florida or Arizona to jump.
As to what made me stop, the team finally disintegrated due to personality differences. It was fairly acrimonious and people whom I had been jumping along side for years, turned out to not be friends at all. I stopped competing and did other things. Got my PRO license and jumped into a few stadiums, a NASCAR race once, and more than one air show. I stopped doing those types of jumps, when an idiot from the FAA tried to tell us that our final turn to land had to be over 1000ft, which is insane and not safe. This was at an airshow and we were landing in an airport. He wouldn't budge on it though, because he was just a god damn whuffo on a power trip. I made a normal turn to final, which was about 300 feet anyway. I decided that was the last time I was going to put my safety in the hands of someone that had no clue what they were talking about, even if I was making money at it.
Later at my home DZ, I landed after a pretty good fun jump and started gathering my main and just felt... Nothing. The jump went well, but it just didn't mean a whole lot to me. I was apathetic. Add to that, I was dating the future Mrs CanopyFlyer and while she supported my jumping, she is no jumper. She's never been on a plane smaller than a CRJ. Where I've jumped from Sport Planes, that are just one step up from an Ultralight. A lot of people have pointed to her as my reason for stopping, but really she is what kept me jumping that last year. It was just time to move on.
Would I jump again? I'm no longer capable of jumping as I injured my back two years ago. While I would not be paralyzed or anything like that, a hard opening would carry the risk of making the pain I deal with every day a whole lot worse. It's hell to get old.
Monté Christo was quite skillful.
I guess it's kill or be killed...
I’m good.
So it's now a life and death situation for me to ensure cheetahs don't go extinct?
I'm gonna need a bigger van.
Omnipotence helps.
I’m a tree.
I mean, it’s pretty good name for a streamer I think, so I could probably do something there
Pretty good I think.
Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.
I'm gonna be A-ok
I guess that I'm now praying to a really shitty version of Satan, uh. Or perhaps selling really cheap lamps?
("Lvxferre" is just broken Latin for "Lucifer", or "light-bringer")
If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?
Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.
I wish I chose MeeKrob now.
I... I don't know. I legitimately do not know.
Itll either kill me in a burst of inspiration to the dome or be a very colorful and interesting way to kill people.
Sweet, I'm a wizard.
My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast.
I'll team up and be ok.
I'm half killer of invisible strong aliens, half teacher of toddlers trying to figure out what their daddies do. I'll happily team up, if you shall accept me wise one.
Having been abducted by aliens myself and having sired offspring, I believe that this would be a good match! We shall vanquish our foes.
I hope I don’t need a boat. I’m fine if I need a lesbian.
If the environment is game rich, I could do ok. But if we’re talking animals that are skittish and I can’t get close to, I’d starve. Could probably use the shaft as part of a bow drill to start a fire, so I’d have that going for me.
Donate today, and this is not a request.
At least I'll have food.
I'm just glad it's not rouge because then I'd likely be a prostitute.
I mean there are a lot of doors that are our only means of staying alive in some way. Doors are very important.
I should be fine, just gotta change my name
::: spoiler spoiler
I may also need to get smarter
:::
Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...
I guess my fate is in the hands of the RNG gods.
She has a shotgun. I should be okay.
I think my username says it all. I'm kind of aloof and independent anyway so, being on my own is how I survive best. And nothing really gets me down, I don't own anyone else's sh#t and I just do my own thing and then I'm off on some other pursuit. I think it's sort of an ADHD but I love it kind of thing.
Better than the next guy's.
I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad
No shit, Sherlock
You shall not pass
This too shall pass
Fabulous!
I'm good until I run out, I guess.
I dont like this game
I planned for this exact scenario
Oh dear.
A little slimy and unconventional but I’m up for the challenge
Oh hey you could monetize this too
I wonder what Only Fans’ animal policy is
Gross.
Yours would be much better
You’d be chowing on those disgusting sweet things Montrealers call bagels.
The cure is worse than the disease.
Finally, my time to shine.
I’m just confused
at least you’re decisive
HA! Mine is an acronym: not another user name.
I'd say pretty fucked, one way or another.
Guess Im poopin.
Pretty sure my time would be up.
I have food and transport, I think I'll be ok.
I would survive just fine as long as you follow my instructions. I can live on a diet of 90% hay with a small amount of species appropriate pellets and a salad every day. I am going to need a lot of room to play and shouldn't be confined to a small cage. At minimum I need an exercise pen as my home base with at least 6 hours so I can run around the house and binky. I should have a box to hide in because I'm easily frightened and I would live underground in the wild. I will do better if you keep my water in a bowl but by all means put it in a bottle if i prefer that. It's better for me to stay hydrated than to try to exist within some ideal that doesn't work for me.
And for the love of God it's a myth that I don't need medical care! I have a very sensitive digestive system and it's a critical emergency if I don't eat for more than a few hours or if my eating slows and my poops get small. So many people say their lagomorphlecture just died with no warning but if they knew what the warnings were and took them to get treatment they would be ok.
I should definitely be soayed or neutered regardless of your society's beliefs about that. Uterine and testicular cancer are very common and I'm unlikely to live past 6bor 7 years old if you don't get me fixed.
I am a very social creature and I should be kept with a bonded mate. If I lose my mate I will become depressed and need either a new lagomorphlecture to keep me company or a lot of your time to help me get through it. It can help me accept the loss if you show me the body of my mate so I can understand and accept that they are gone.
I will provide you with further instructions for my care later on.
I guess eternal life through some profane kind of undead cyborg magic... Bad maybe?
Truly the best unlife.
I like my odds
🎵 beeee bap bap ba da bum, bee bap bap ba da bum 🎶
Vanth is from Etruscan mythology, a female demon that escorts the dead through the underworld. Generally seen as a helpful guide rather than mean or frightening. So if I can mix mythologies for the sake of a colorful mental image, Hell-Uber across the river Styx, please tip your driver.
On the plus side, I probably don't need much income as a demon.
Well considering I only learnt to drive automatic, it’s not looking good.
I don't know what's in it, but its keeping me alive.
Staying "alive" shouldn't be a problem.
Either I'm a lawyer for warlocks making sure they don't enter tricky contracts with devils, which I assume pays well, or I'm a lawyer and a warlock so will soon have my own TV show.
Matlock the Warlock.
I have no idea why situation would cause smoking weed and having sex with sharks to be a matter of life and death but I'm incredibly curious to find out
Not happy about this, but present
Well, coffee is essential. It's just more on the nose now.
I guess I'll just jump into the nearest body of water, even better if it's at night.
You seem like the kinda person who sees the glass half full, even when it’s completely empty
I'll be OK.
Maybe I can try to convince people to put me in charge
I am the person who should have died at every turn, but somehow being the only one that lives to the end, I imagine.
or I die by licking a diseased corpse.
So, hard to tell if its good or bad.
Not too bad,
I didn't choose the chug life, the chug life choo-choo chose me!
(And it's got a picture of a train!)
At least I’ll be fed
It's me or the other guy
I'm in GREAT shape. :D
Roll around in some kelp and then float away
Will you have a cup of tea? Ah go on, there’s plenty in the pot. Go on, have a cup of tea, so. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on ….
Oh I'll be "Stayin' alive," alright.
I'm set for as long as breakfast is overburdened
My mighty herd will protect me! 🐐
Baaaah. I will infect the herd. I look (sound) like one of you until it's too late
I guess I’m in my twenties forever now‽
Nope, always feel 20. At least you never get demensia
I'll survive for a little bit but I will almost certainly be the cause of my own death.
For fuck sakes, can we not do this on Lemmy
Apparently this is fun for many. Is fun not allowed here?
Doing "this" is actually known as "krudling", believe it or not. This guy's into meta humor
Oh, ohhh. I like it, if that's actually true. Couldn't find a reference to that, though. Did you make that up?
Naw not a real thing, I was being a smartass!
"Krudling" does have a nice ring to it, though.
And it is a hell of a diss, I support this term
Tbh I really hated the krudling posts on reddit, but here not so much. Maybe because I don't feel like the platform is gaming my engagement, so I don't have to feel guilty
It's bad for you. I'm a steal yo girl, and if you come near my taniwha hideout, I'm going to eat you.
... I'm so high right now. That's probably how this ends for me: humans bringing me some cannabis, getting me too high, and leading me somewhere out of the way.
Looks like I'm drinking my way out of this. Who wants a brewski?
I'll be right there with you.
could be worse
Sounds like I'll be doing psychedelics or phenethylamines possibly. Not a bad way to live.
You got a quarter?
I'm not sure about nutritional value, but it could be worse
I feel pretty safe
The first stage of grief is denial
I’ll figure something out
What a quintessentially human attitude
Into this world we're thrown
Everyone will let the Wookie win?
I can’t guarantee the Wookie will win. Place your bets and let’s see who loses an arm.
Guess I'm setting fire to a lot of robots ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm... uhh. I think I'm screwed here.
At least you have a pi(e).
I almost get 100,000 pis. Almost, but not quite :'(
Oh fuck.
Kawaii imouto looks up with puppy eyes
I'm more worried about innocent bystanders tbh...
emu war ptsd intensifies
If knowledge is real and can be applied to anything, I guess I'll be alright
Brb, loading up on carbs.
Uhhhh I suppose I like cereal
I think I'll be ok.
Well, fuck
I'm in luck! 😁
Depends on which one it is, one of them is significantly more helpful than the other.
Suing beverage companies for having severed toes inside
Pretty good actually.
I certainly wont be starving to death!
I stare at the wall reciting pi over and over, while my body withers, mind untethered, consumed by a mathematical void.
McDonald's stocks go up 200%
I came up with the spelling based on the word "pattern", and this was just a screwy way of spelling it ~30 some years ago and it's just what I've always used. I'd probably be screwed if I had to rely on it, other than finding patterns in nature can help animals stay alive, I guess? That's all I got.
Has a slightly toxic, mysandristic taste to it, but overall the stew is much more palatable than anything else that came from this awkward creature.
Note that you get a causal turtle stew enjoyer, not a casual turtle stew
It’s great.
It’s the choice of a new generation.
Usually I'm a "silence, brand" kind of person but the clear, vivid, outdated commercial in my head got laugh. Why am I imagining a dude in a windbreaker?
He better have the matching wind pants.
It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.
Can i manifest it as a super power?
Oranges and collared greens, I suppose. Could be worse.
I'm aceing at it, sadly.
I guess I'm a black rabbit now. Could be worse.
It's my name, so I guess I'll do ok?
It's bad.
The best I can make sense of it is that I make my money as some sort of emo catboy vtuber. Assuming I'm not already reasonably popular, that boils down to how good a streamer I can be and the economic factors of going into the EN vtubing industry after the initial boom. And I'm already at a disadvantage because "emo catboy" is a weak concept that lacks originality.
Si vous dites mon nom, vous comprendrez.
Mais qu’est-ce que c’est?
Oui! Exactement!
I'm used to it.
Ooo fishies
Sorry guys, the end times are on us, but at least they're cute and fluffy.
I guess something is better than nothing.
Oh well, I'll die happy
Pretty good I think!
Let loose the flaming giant elephants of war
Praise to Armok, dwarves all kneel!
Praise the God of Blood and Steel!
Drain the River, burn the Wood!
Praise the God of Steel and Blood!
Praise to Armok, dwarves obey!
Praise the God of Rend and Slay!
Smelt the Metal, cut the Gem!
Praise the God of Slay and Rend!
Praise to Armok, dwarves attack!
Praise the God of Shield and Pick!
Strike the foeman! Never yield!
Praise the God of Pick and Shield!
(originally posted)
I can live off soiled bread I suppose
:,(
Tell us about Cheems :)
I'm gonna have what plants crave.
I have meat at least
I can't think of anything more metal than subsisting on arsenic, lead, and belladonna mixtures.
My username is a bird that steals fish. I'm not sure how I'm going to get on the good side of one, but I guess I'd better get used to either seafood or hunger
Every 3 letter agency would be after me shortly
At least you can travel faster than the speed of sound
Seems like a fun spell
Well I either got a personal fire or I'm on fire myself. Witch fire sounds better
I'm going to pick my nose!
People think I'm bullshitting all the time.
Mecha + Magic = Mechagic Im in a magic mecha, i think im doing well
Oooo, who should tell him?
Irl cockroach is my display name, it is not my username
I think you used your alt account, you're username is IRL cockroach
Seeing as you can't eat rocks I'd practically be dead.
Pretty good but I have the feeling Quantum Computing will kill me if Im not careful.
Quantum Computing or Neo.
Being a 'jockbox genius' means I'd be living on 'spam street', good buddy!
As long as you've got your dead buddy, your living skeleton buddy and your prehensile scarf.
Depends on where I live. I'm dead in the coming summer.
Very bad. I'll I've got is a really gross bagel
I'm a very old Musketeer.
I will foolishly ride my dolly to safety like a wobbly skateboard. See you later losers!
Basically no change.
im now a vampire with a slutty thrall?
i guess theres worse ways to live
unlive, rather
I guess this one is a bit of a freebie for me.
Porn i guess
Would be nice to be buzzed all the time
Not a lot changes
This is the way
With the US healthcare system? Expensive.
I'm already dead
F
I'm not gonna worry about it
May very well go up in flames, is how bad.
I now rule a highly advanced, militaristic, and xenophobic alternate reality and have psionic abilities. It's not as great as is sounds, my future wife is going to psionically teleport a gray-goo bomb into my chest at the end of the big climactic boss fight.
Haha, I’ll still be around in millions of years.
Uhhhh...
I'm really impressed at how well I'm staying alive...wow!
Not nice
As long as I don't run out of fuel and crash...
I'm in command but my crew had BETTER stay on my good side.
I'm fucked.
At least you'll leave a beautiful corpse.
So glowy!
I'll be fine
I think I'd be alright.
I cast spells
I'd be just fine.
your cash and your jewelry is what i expect
Not bad at all.
I hope for your sake that your name isn't Jack.
The Grasshopper Mouse kills scorpions and then screams about it afterwards, so I think I'll do alright.
I mean... I'm a pope and a king. I think I'll be alright.
Quite a few of them were killed when they were a thing.
Curse this mortality, amiright fellow human?
Most of them are dead, but Mr Burns has enough money to keep me going a while.
I think it'll be okay come night time.
alright, how many pancake usernames are there. this isn’t fair
I need to work on my temper
I mean, you tell me.
Hmm
I'm not allowed to drink anything I guess
You’ll be wanting a cup of tea so. Go on have a cup, it’s fresh. No? Ah go on! Have a cup of tea. Go on! Go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on go on …..
I feel like I'm not the one it's bad for.
Stressful mostly
I guess I need to find a Gleemonex dealer.
I'm pretty happy.
I’m pretty sure I’d be ok in multiple realities
Silver Wings of Morning is a Shatterling ship of Gentian Line. Shatterlings exist six million years in the future. The ship is so large that it contains other ships in its hanger.
I will have no trouble surviving in this futuristic ship.
Noisy.
Same
I would have to go back to reddit to get an "open in new tab" function. This username is actually because I created an account once (years ago) after nuking my first one just so I could have the "open in new tab" functionality back.
Well, I can hunt, I guess.
I'll be just fine.
I'll be fine with the powers of the wizard king of Israel, weed and dinner for two...
Do you guys think Elon would let me take his SpaceX Starship in a time machine back to 2021 so I could fly to Mars and survive?
No, I do not have $4 billion to pay for this endeavor, I'll just take out a loan and tell the bank its for a scientific breakthrough.
Mine is the name of a character I used to play tabletop.
He was a Chaos Space Marine.
I think I'll be okay.
The walls are closing in...
I'm mostly fine, I hope
It doesn't have to be good, right?
I'm just some random Lord now, which theoretically will come with resources so I should be okay
But what if it didn't happen in my timeline?
I guess I'm a rightwing pod caster now.
FUCKING PRONOUNS
Bamboo-fed, succulent and juicy steaks
Yeah I’m pretty fucked if my ability to stay alive is predicated upon my assembly programming abilities. Don’t ask me to multiply.
Not so bad
We musn't speak of him. He is legend.
shrugs I just do.
Mine is a jolly good lot of fun as I fend off attacks with well-coined analogies.
Another day on the job, comrades
at least you’re the top performer
Not bad, especially if she comes with her ship.
Guess I'm a melee mercenary in a ranged weapons world now. Sucks, but at least I get self healing? Also an immunity, come to think of it.
I'm good. Nom nom nom
Guess I'd better whip out the scarves and space berets. I'll be just fiiine.
I'm a fake Belgian/Dutchie.
I mean, probably wouldn't be bad initially. It would just get worse as time goes on.
Suddenly I need to order a lot of explosives...
I'm already gone.
My name is genuinely not actually Steve so I'm good
So, everything that is not Steve is at your disposal. Nice.
I'll be fiiiiiine
Your handle reminds me of that blond joke where she hides in a bag of potatoes and when someone kicks it to see whats inside she says "potatopotatopotato"
Bout the same, but my life expectancy just got extended by around a factor of 2
I'm fire proof, and a shit speller.
I uh ... might be okay once I figure out what's going on
too bad you don’t have an arc that emits light
I’m still here.
If everyone dressed like me the world would be a much less violent place
No one knows.
Oh my, this is not gonna go well.
I think for me, there'd be some sort of lord involved. Couldn't tell you what would happen, though.
Welp, time to change my diet, as if they didn't have it rough already by being lonely. Sorry little dudes
I try to save money anyway, so I guess it’ll be ok. At least as long as nobody needs avenged.
I spelt mine wrong.
... I think it'd be something you'd call an oxymoron.
I guess I am drilling wells? Maybe manageable.
Pretty appropriate considering it means "The fuck is that?" where I'm from (not written the real way mind you, it would be "Quessé ça?" and that would still be "slang")
Please, ya gotta help me Tony! I don't know what else to do!
Make of me what you will…
"CanopyFlyer" is a reference to my skydiving days.
I have a tad over 4500 skydives.
Even though my last jump was 18 years ago, I think I'd be pretty safe if someone threw me out a plane with a rig on.
That's a lot of jumps and pretty long ago. What made you stop?
I was on a 4-way and 8-way competitive team and we had sponsorship for most of the time we were together. When your training jumps are free, you do a lot of them. All of my winter vacations for years was to Florida or Arizona to jump.
As to what made me stop, the team finally disintegrated due to personality differences. It was fairly acrimonious and people whom I had been jumping along side for years, turned out to not be friends at all. I stopped competing and did other things. Got my PRO license and jumped into a few stadiums, a NASCAR race once, and more than one air show. I stopped doing those types of jumps, when an idiot from the FAA tried to tell us that our final turn to land had to be over 1000ft, which is insane and not safe. This was at an airshow and we were landing in an airport. He wouldn't budge on it though, because he was just a god damn whuffo on a power trip. I made a normal turn to final, which was about 300 feet anyway. I decided that was the last time I was going to put my safety in the hands of someone that had no clue what they were talking about, even if I was making money at it.
Later at my home DZ, I landed after a pretty good fun jump and started gathering my main and just felt... Nothing. The jump went well, but it just didn't mean a whole lot to me. I was apathetic. Add to that, I was dating the future Mrs CanopyFlyer and while she supported my jumping, she is no jumper. She's never been on a plane smaller than a CRJ. Where I've jumped from Sport Planes, that are just one step up from an Ultralight. A lot of people have pointed to her as my reason for stopping, but really she is what kept me jumping that last year. It was just time to move on.
Would I jump again? I'm no longer capable of jumping as I injured my back two years ago. While I would not be paralyzed or anything like that, a hard opening would carry the risk of making the pain I deal with every day a whole lot worse. It's hell to get old.
Monté Christo was quite skillful.
I guess it's kill or be killed...
I’m good.
So it's now a life and death situation for me to ensure cheetahs don't go extinct?
I'm gonna need a bigger van.
Omnipotence helps.
I’m a tree.
I mean, it’s pretty good name for a streamer I think, so I could probably do something there
Pretty good I think.
Uh oh...but if taken literally like the idea my best friend had when we were on acid and whip its, could be delectable. I'm willing to take the risk.
I'm gonna be A-ok
I guess that I'm now praying to a really shitty version of Satan, uh. Or perhaps selling really cheap lamps?
("Lvxferre" is just broken Latin for "Lucifer", or "light-bringer")
If you have one of those halo things your already kind of dead right?
Time to stab Polyphemus in the eye and get outta this cave, I reckon.
I wish I chose MeeKrob now.
I... I don't know. I legitimately do not know.
Itll either kill me in a burst of inspiration to the dome or be a very colorful and interesting way to kill people.
Sweet, I'm a wizard.
My fitness is questionable, but my knowledge is vast. I'll team up and be ok.
I'm half killer of invisible strong aliens, half teacher of toddlers trying to figure out what their daddies do. I'll happily team up, if you shall accept me wise one.
Having been abducted by aliens myself and having sired offspring, I believe that this would be a good match! We shall vanquish our foes.
I hope I don’t need a boat. I’m fine if I need a lesbian.
If the environment is game rich, I could do ok. But if we’re talking animals that are skittish and I can’t get close to, I’d starve. Could probably use the shaft as part of a bow drill to start a fire, so I’d have that going for me.
Donate today, and this is not a request.
At least I'll have food.
I'm just glad it's not rouge because then I'd likely be a prostitute.
I mean there are a lot of doors that are our only means of staying alive in some way. Doors are very important.
I should be fine, just gotta change my name
::: spoiler spoiler I may also need to get smarter :::
Maybe dying isn't so bad after all...
I guess my fate is in the hands of the RNG gods.
She has a shotgun. I should be okay.
I think my username says it all. I'm kind of aloof and independent anyway so, being on my own is how I survive best. And nothing really gets me down, I don't own anyone else's sh#t and I just do my own thing and then I'm off on some other pursuit. I think it's sort of an ADHD but I love it kind of thing.
Better than the next guy's.
I sell tea, as 418 is a teapot, so I'd say not so bad
Well, I was almost a music major.
things just work out, it seems
Bollocks.
This is not how I expected to get a degree in arachnology
I am in the Matrix where no one can find me.
At least I'll never go hungry, but eventually I'll get sick of myself.
I have to either rob or digitally pleasure someone named Cooper
I guess I'm doomed.
~Doom de doom doom de doom doom doom!
Pumpkin seed oil every day 😋
Russian fucking roulette
I was once told "meco" is Spanish for semen (likely not the formal word but slang or something with a dialect). So... 50/50?
Renere
I’m already dead
Nothing changes for me.